The reality check for Themes

Since elicitive conflict workers need to resonate with the conflict parties, an important pre-condition is for them to be free in their own personalities from massive blockages that arise out of previous experiences in their private and professional lives. Blockages that arise out of our own biographies seem inevitable and so part of the work that needs to be done in training is precisely to help the worker ground him/herself in self-awareness.

With these thoughts in mind, we could adapt the reality check to be used on the elicitive worker’s own themes. We then first find the episode, which in this case we can adapt to being the current version of the life story and life situation, as they are presented spontaneously. We can then make inquiries along the themes of justice, truth, security and harmony.

  • Is one of these four themes pressing? In other words, does one of these themes pull my attention in my own self-perception? 

Do I feel treated justly in my private and professional environment? Here it is important to remember that we are aiming for a cooperative (and not a competitive) sense of justice. Do I contribute satisfactorily to my job and do I receive the material and ideal recognition that speaks to my own needs? Is there a homeostatic balance in my original system of origin? 


Is there a political or religious dogma that governs me? Are there any hermetic dogmas that prevent me from living out my full personal potential, for example, because ‘I cannot think, say or do something particular under any circumstance’? Maybe this could also be problematic the other way around ‘Are there any hermetic dogmas that prevent me from living out my full potential because I have to think, say or do something particular no matter what’?


The theme of security tends to make its appearance through its opposite, insecurity, frequently in the form of fear. Does my fear take me to perceive everyone else as a threat (projection)? Do I try to deflect my fears, for example, by whistling in the woods because I am afraid of thieves? Also introflection or confluence is possible, for example when fearful persons come from authoritarian backgrounds.


Harmony is the theme that enables access to one’s inner perception. Peace out of harmony implies that I feel peace in myself, with which I want to contribute to the world’s. Do I feel peace within myself? Do mental abstractions block me from creating emotional connections with others? Do I have difficulties establishing connections with the parties in the ‘here and now’? Do I respect the parties’ worldview, especially if I do not share it?


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